Abuse is Not Love
by LearningtheNotes
Summary: Lily's first relationship with seventh year Adam Moore is rocky but not unmanageable until he starts to hurt her. She terrified and scared of being alone. Keeping her secret for as long as she can until Potter figures it out. Maybe he can help her..
1. Chapter 1

_**I haven't read the books in a while so I hope this isn't incredibly **_**_inaccurate and I apologize for such a short chapter it seemed longer as I was typing it. Every review is loved 3 Thanks everybody_**_  
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_Isn't a relationship supposed to be beautiful. _Lily thought to herself as she paced around the Head's dorm room.

Thinking over her first relationship, it's a bit pathetic really, she's 17 and her first relationship is only two months in the making. She would like to say it was just her lack of experience that made Adam seem aggressive and always pushing her boundaries.

But _maybe that's just how relationships work, not everything can be right out of a harlequin novel. _But still something seemed off. Adam Moore was only a year older than her, being in his seventh year and herself in her sixth. But he seemed so overpowering.

Lying in bed she, needless to say, did not get a full nights sleep. James had stopped prodding her to date him when she started dating Adam, instead he decided to make himself a close friend of hers. It almost felt foreign to Lily. Not having a dashing Potter chasing after her. She was still not speaking to Severus even though the incident was over a year ago. He had never attempted to apologize so she tried not to give it a second thought.

The next morning Lily was eating breakfast with her friends Hestia and Alice when a hand covered her eyes and mouth from behind, letting out a squeal she tried to pull the persons hands off her.

"Guess who", came a voice that could only belong to a certain trouble maker.

"Potter let go", she laughed as he released her eyes.

"Sorry Evans couldn't help myself", he said winking at her. She fought against the warmth that was spreading to her cheeks. Oh he loved to make her blush. It was satisfying to him that even with her boyfriend he could make Lily feel flattered. He couldn't help but stare at her until a man cleared his throat rather loudly, breaking his concentration.

"Am I interrupting something, Potter?"

"Not at all Moore, I was just making Lils blush", James said with a chuckle and Lily laughed along.

Getting up from her seat she wrapped her arms around him, "Good morning Adam." He grabbed her chin and kissed her hard on the mouth to make a point to James that Lily was his, despite her hatred of public displays of affection. He knew that James was still crazy about his girlfriend and he'd be damned if he let a Potter take his girl.

Adam was always a bit possessive over Lily and that did not go unnoticed to her. She pulled out of his embrace and went to sit back down when Adam pulled on her arm and tugged her close to him. "Lily, come with me for a minute?"

Her gut told her no but she turned and told her friends she'd be back soon and Adam led her out of the Great Hall. Leaving a frustrated James to eat breakfast with his boys and not his love.

Adam led Lily up the stairs to the Hufflepuff common room and then tugged her up the stairs to his room.

"Here take a seat Lily", she let herself fall onto his unmade bed but kept her legs over the side in a sitting position. From behind his back he pulled out a red rose and handed it to her. Wary of the thorns, she brought the petals up to her nose to smell them.

"Aww Adam it's lovely." He smiled at her appreciation and kissed his girlfriend hard on the mouth once again. Lily was surprised by the sudden motion but kissed back. His mouth was unpleasantly aggressive as were his actions as he pushed her back onto his bed. His hands went from her face to her back and then up her shirt. Lily tensed at his action and tried to pull away but her rejection went unnoticed as he unclasped her bra with one hand. Lily pulled away, more forcefully this time.

"Adam stop thats to far." She was relieved when he pulled his hand out of her shirt, but a bit unhappy when he took her bra as well. Looking into his eyes she was shocked to see that he looked angry.

"God Lily why do we always have to stop!? I want to feel my girlfriend is that a crime?!" He was not yelling but his voice was raised. Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Because I don't feel comfortable with going further yet!"

Adam let out an angry sigh, "well how much longer?! Fuck Lily we've been dating for two months and this is the most action I've gotten from you!"

Lily glared at her boyfriend, "I said I wasn't ready you inconsiderate prick!"

His eyes darkened and before she knew what was happening she heard a loud smack and her cheek began to sting. Her eyes watered from the pain but she forced herself not to cry, in shock that Adam, _her Adam, _had hit her.

He looked at her red cheek and his own hand as if realizing what he had done and reached out to hold her. Her body grew stiff being near him but he did not notice. "Fuck Lily I'm so sorry I didn't mean to, it's just when you said that it upset me so much don't say things like that again to me okay Lily?"

She nodded into his chest before saying, "I don't feel to well I think I'm going to stay in instead of going to class today." He sighed and nodded.

"I'll walk you back to your dorm."

When they got to the Gryffindor common room, Lily had adjusted her hair so the slight bruise wasn't visible and Adam kissed her before taking off for class.

"I love you Lily", Adam called out but she pretended not to hear him.


	2. Chapter 2

Lily stayed in her room for the rest of the day. She knows he apologized to her. And he's never hit her before. "I don't want to hurt him, I still love him" she thought to herself. Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the doors to the Gryffindor common room open.

The voices of three marauder boys followed inside. They were skipping class. As Head Girl she did not want to be responsible for knowing they were skipping. She picked herself off her bed and checked the bruise Adam had left in the mirror. It wasn't too bad, just slight bruising, she used foundation to cover it and headed down the stairs to the common room.

"Boys!" She yelled as the walked down the stairs. All three heads turned to look at her.

"Lils! How kind of you to join us!" Sirius yelled back, jumping up from his seat on the couch he ran over and picked her up into a spinning hug from behind. Completely caught off guard.

"BLACK PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT! What are you three doing here?! Why aren't you in class?! Especially you Remus I expected more from you."

"Actually Evans Professor McGonagal gave me, Remus and Sirius permission to be dismissed from class. James smirked. Knowing them Sirius and James probably pulled a prank and got kicked out of class. Remus was probably ahead of the lesson and was allowed to be dismissed.

Before Lily could say anything James interrupted her, "hey wait Lily, why aren't YOU in class?" He said with his signature smirk and raised eyebrow.

She scoffed at him. "That is none of your business Potter."

Sirius mocked her "OOH Miss Perfect is SKIPPING CLASS".

"Black shut your bloody mouth," she growled at him. Remus just rolled his eyes at Sirius' behavior and stood up, his books tucked under his arm.

"I've got studying to do guys, I'll see you later". James and Sirius over dramatically begged Remus to stay. When he was upstairs Sirius smirked.

"I'm gonna go mess with him, have fun you to love birds"

"Black-" Lily said his last name with a warning tone. Sirius held his hands up in surrender and ran up the stairs quietly.

"And then there were two" James said.

Lily laughed as James stood up from his spot on the couch and walked over to her.

"Soo, Sirius gets a hug and I don't" He said putting a hand over his heart, "that's no fair." Lily rolled her eyes and stepped forward to give him a quick hug but James wasn't up for a quick one. He wrapped one arm around her back and swept her feet off the floor and she squealed.

"Potter put me down!" She yelled laughing as he spun her in circles.

He chuckled. James had stopped spinning but didn't release her onto the floor. "What's the magic word Evans?"

"Oh put me down you twat."

"Say the Magic word and I will."

"James, please put me down."

He laughed but placed her on her feet as much as he wanted to keep her in his arms. She felt so light. Delicate like a flower.

"So Potter, what are you up to since you were kicked out of class?" James just laughed.

"Actually Evans I've been studying. Charms is a bit difficult for me and I'd like to pass it this year." She looked at him in mock disbelief.

"You mean, the Perfect James Potter isn't Perfect?" He just rolled his eyes.

"Don't make me spin you around again Evans" he said in a fake threatening manner. She laughed.

"Oh I take it back! I'm still dizzy from that you twat." They both laughed. He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the couch.

"Sit with me for a while. I won't bite." He paused, "well unless you want me to". He winked at her and she simply rolled her eyes at his flirtatious comments.

"Oh hush yourself Potter I have a boyfriend." Her mood was instantly dulled when she thought of Adam. And James didn't look to pleased either.

"Oh yeah, _Adam." _He said his name like it left a bad taste in his mouth and Lily didn't respond. "Lily in all honesty I don't think you belong with him."

She looked at him and her eyebrows knit together. "Who are you to say that Potter?! I happen to be very happy in our relationship!" _You're lying. _A voice in the back of her head said.

James clenched his jaw. "Have you not noticed how he treats you?! Like a prize?! I saw him with you this morning Lily, he is to rough with you! The way he grabbed your arm and pulled you like you were a child! And How he kissed you, you _hate _PDA Lily!"

James knew he had no right to bag on their relationship, but he was jealous. He would never treat her like that. He would treat her like a princess, like she deserved. Lily's face grew red, _TELL HIM! _that annoying voice in her head said. _TELL HIM ADAM HURT YOU. _

Instead she bit her tongue and stood up from the couch. "I'm going up to my room. You have no right to say that about my relationship James." He lightly grabbed her arm.

"Wait Lily, I'm sorry, please stay. Help me with Charms?" He asked her, hoping she would stay. When he grabbed her arm a flash of fear went through her body. For a split second he saw the expression in her eyes change but then it was gone. He extremely the feeling. "Pleaseeee stay Lillllyyy" He dragged his words out with a signature "Potter Puppy Dog Face".

She sighed but sat back down on the couch. She felt safe near James and as they started talking she began day dreaming, thinking about how it would feel to sit on his lap, for his arms to be wrapped around her. Or better yet his lips on her skin.

James snapped his fingers in front of her face, snapping her out of her daydream. "Hey Lily you okay?" James said with a smirk, knowing that she had been caught staring at _James Potter _of all people was extremely embarrassing and she felt her cheeks growing warm.

The way she was looking at his lips made it pretty obvious to him that she was thinking about kissing him. Moving slightly closer to her, so that their legs were touching he reached up and rubbed her bottom lip with his thumb.

"You know Lils, if you want to kiss me all you have to do is say so." _Screw Adam. _James thought to himself.

Lily wanted to kiss him. She wanted to so bad. But images of Adam hitting her flashed across her mind and she jumped away from him, stumbling off the couch and hitting her head on the table in the process.

"No! James no I can't, please no." She looked genuinely scared. James was so confused.

"Lily I wont hurt you! Why are you so scared of me?" He asked looking hurt.

"No James I promise it's not you. I'll be in my room."

She ran up to her room and James plopped back onto the couch with a sigh. So close. He had been so close to kissing the girl of his dreams. And he didn't even know what happened!

Later on that night Lily headed down for dinner and saw James alone at the Gryffindor table, most likely waiting for the rest of his group.

She walked up to him. "James," he turned around surprised.

"Lily, are you okay, I didn't mean to- I mean whatever happened earlier- agh I'm really-" she cut him off.

"No James it wasn't you I'm really sorry.. It's just.. Adam.." She trailed off.

James just let out a sigh, "I won't say anything because I don't want to get you upset but you know how I feel about him." Lily just nodded.

"So... we're okay?" Lily asked. She never thought she'd be apologizing to James Potter. He smiled at her.

"We'll always be okay, Lils!" She was going to hug him but before she could he pulled her into a tight hug and spun her around.

"Oh god James put me down!" He did this to her so often but she really loved it. It made her feel safe.

"Yea Potter put her down," a very unfriendly voice said. She pulled out of their hug with wide eyes.

"Adam!" Her boyfriend nodded at her. "Lily I need to talk to you." And once again, he grabbed her hand and pulled her from the Grand Hall and down the corridors.

"What was that?!" He yelled at her. Pushing her against the wall.

"Adam please! It was just a friendly hug!" She began to get scared again. He promised he wouldn't hurt her again. Calm down she told herself.

"Bullshit! I don't want you to speak to him anymore! If he touches you Lily there will be consequences!" He growled at her. One had tugging her hair and the other digging into the skin of her waist. She whimpered in pain but he ignored her.

Instead he bent his head down and started harshly sucking on the skin of her neck. Leaving bite marks a huge bruise and a lot of pain.

"Adam stop, please!" He pulled back and glared at her. Slamming her head against the wall again to make a point.

"Lily Evans you are mine!"

"Adam let go of me! You're hurting me!" She had obviously said the wrong thing because he threw her on the ground and started kicking her in the stomach.

"Lily I love you and I will not let anyone steal you from me. Do you understand."

She nodded her head furiously.

"Good girl." He bent down and kissed her head. Then just left.

She didn't have the strength to move. Minutes later she heard footsteps coming down the halls.

"Lily?" The voice got closer and a face came into view.

"Jesus Christ Lily what happened to you?!"

She groaned but knew to cover her ass. "Fell down the stairs. I really don't want to go to the nurse, Sirius"

Sirius chucked, "Oh Lily so clumsy here," he gently scooped her up into his arms and carried her up the stairs to the Gryffindor common room.


End file.
